little fat sister  (avatar)
updated 1 month ago

This is normal right?

These days I wonder what would have happened if A was born into a different family, one which can afford all the pretty, most comfortable, safest etc. baby gear...

All these IG surfing while breastfeeding or pumping is making me wonder if she would be better off in a more affluent family?

Would she be more comfortable in a stokke crib instead of having to squeeze on a bed with me?

Or perhaps safer in a bugaboo stroller with all the bells and whistles?

Is she getting less stimulation with the limited range of toys I’m offering? I have no skip hop activity tables for her, I only have a random mish mash of plastic toys from Shopee to offer...

Would it be better if I could stay home and let her do BLW instead of traditional weaning? But I can’t afford to be a SAHM...

Some of these tendencies are just hedonistic tendencies of a first time mummy but it makes me wonder if down the road, will I also be asking the same kind of questions about enrichment classes, playschool or Montessori environments?

In any case, I just wanted to pen down before I forget that I’ve reached my initial goal of 6 months of fully breastfeeding. I was so naive back then thinking that 6 months would be enough since it’s what most people would recommend for babies. But then I re-looked up the advisory and it said 2 years...and I also overlooked the fact that mums get attached to babies...

So here she is, with me, cruelly plucked from her familiar environment, so that I can selfishly keep her by my side on the pretext of extending breastfeeding until A decides to wean herself.

I’m not sure if I’ve made the right choice by her, she didn’t have a say in this matter. I hope she’s enjoying herself as much as mama here is enjoying her company.


Day 155

Tuesday, 4 Jun 2019

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