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Life goal is to live in a 🌻 land

June 2018

No longer a fault that I hold myself to blame. No longer an apology that I request to be given.No longer anything. It still hurts on some days, in fact it gets harder to even ignore the pain. But this incident serves as a very good lesson - to grow and to be brave in all ways, especially when your role in my life would become a less permanent (and significant) one.I can only get stronger from now on.💪🏼

Beggars can’t be choosers. Especially when I need a job desperately to make myself feel more useful. But not till the extent that I would lower myself (and my value) down. While they always say gaining experience matters more than monetary value (which I agree), but not to the point of cheap labour. Even cheap labour has its limits. They weren’t wrong when they say this industry is hard to survive. But not till the point of exploiting one’s goodwill? I feel so resentful.

Feelings still as raw as ever. Not sure if I’m ready to face my wrath when I’m back. Prayed for a system error message to pop up. Man this is so hard and so hurting. I can only wish it was a dream but no. * Also G just popped over ytd night to the Airbnb for a catch-up at ................ .MIDNIGHT. And we talked all the way until 0145!! The catchup was what I needed mainly because I have been wanting to rant (more) on certain stuffs. So glad that it happened!

Time check: 0127Have been tossing and turning in bed for the past 2 hours. It is getting harder to sleep nowadays and I’m not quite sure why. But it is exceptionally difficult to sleep today.Time check: 0206Still trying to get some rest - but the mind speaks otherwise. So much for telling myself that it’s okay, when I know it isn’t because of my character. When dawn comes, it will be a brand new day.

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