Suet Li (avatar)
updated 1 year ago

Toxic friends

Thanks for the advice guys.

I've decided to delete this post but will keep all your comments since they're so insightful and thoughtful too. Sorry if you missed out the post but nothing here to see! Haha

Day 205

Monday, 24 Jul 2017

134 22
melimandoo (avatar)

melimandoo I'd just distance myself as you have done. I'd try to explain things to the others she has spoken to if given the chance, but if I can't, then I'd just let it be. Your actions will speak for yourself.

1 year ago

aboutwang (avatar)

aboutwang The same thing happened to me this year with someone who I considered a very good friend but the relationship started becoming toxic and whatever I did wasn't good enough for this person. Took me a long time to realise even because we always want to do our best for our friends so I initially thought it was me. In the end it was the never ending pass agressiveness that threw me over the edge. The slow fade worked. Slowly stop initiating conversation, no longer make plans on my side, then I just stop responding much when she tries to stir stuff. It took awhile but eventually faded to basically nothing. If I see her I'm still civil/friendly but we don't share our lives anymore. If they try to stir stuff with others there will be those who get enticed by the drama and those who are true friends anyway.

1 year ago

omamee (avatar)

omamee Personally I feel that a toxic friend is well... toxic. They have the ability to draw out the worst in you and yet guilt trip you no matter what you do. Because they are self centred individuals, no amount of work on your end will ever be enough in their eyes. As a matter of fact, the more you do, the more it fuels the drama they intend to create to bask in the attention be it from a victim's POV or from a 'righteousness' person's POV. Best to just walk away before it does any further damage to your wellbeing. 😔 #DuaPuluhSen

1 year ago

thegirlwhogrowls (avatar)

thegirlwhogrowls Dont let your own kindness lead you into suffering! If its causing you so much anxiety you really must put your wellbeing first. As selfish as it sounds, please protect yourself ~ hugs

1 year ago

jovisjoey (avatar)

jovisjoey I once had a friend who was also driving me emotionally crazy and I just stopped hanging out with her and rejected her everytime she wants to hang out. Eventually she stopped talking to me and that's the end of our friendship. But I never once regretted what I did coz I felt happier without her.

1 year ago

vss3t (avatar)

vss3t Emotional toxic people are not worth your time and effort and sleepless nights. I know I'm harsh but I treat them like roaches and cut them out from life.

1 year ago

higarethdavies (avatar)

higarethdavies Cut them out and move on.

1 year ago

Leavingforgood (avatar)

Leavingforgood Cut dem out from ur live. Don letthem manipulate u

1 year ago

jingthepianist (avatar)

jingthepianist So happened to chance upon this. I used to have an ex friend who was like that too. Because I'm the stronger looking/the more outspoken one, and she always acted as if she's the victim, I came across to all of our friends as "the bully". It was very upsetting la but I told myself to just be who I am and don't let her affect my personality, sooner or later people will discover about the not-so-innocent side of her, and they did. It might take a while, but the truth will always reveal. So, just move on with your life and continue to be who you are. Time will tell. 😊

1 year ago

Eviee (avatar)

Eviee I would like to offer my point of view: I had and still have several toxic people/family members in my life, but I simply won't let them affect me too much. Amidst the crazy drama they love to stir up, I've learnt to be emotionally detached/neutral most of the time.

As a result, I can still hang out with them and sometimes, even bear with them when no one else can. (I would like to add that it is also quite hard for me cut them off totally especially if they also belong to a certain clique of friends or are part of an extended family that I want my children to be part of) - I just won't allow myself to be emotionally sucked into their drama :)

If they act up, which they often do due to their insecurities, I'll just "artfully" (I hope!) distract them about sth else. Or smile but say nothing as they rant. Internally however, I'm likely to be imagining up sunshine and rainbows.

I guess what I'm trying to say is, you are not bound by her toxic emotions and insecurities. Why go to the extent of intentionally "cutting her off" or letting her affect you so much? Let your heart be untouched and impenetrable by her drama.

1 year ago

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