Ok sorry continue story.
So 7 months ago I found out I have PCOS right. Doc gave me clomid and metformin and I continued trying like normal but we decided to go see a fertility doc after finally one year of trying.
Thought we'd just do the full assessment package and see where that brings us.
So that's when I did my HSG (uterus x-ray) and found out something is wrong.
First of all, the X-ray is damn freaking painful. Most pain I've ever felt as she injected dye into my uterus. It's like period cramps x 100. But the worst was yet to come then, and only came 2 hours later at home. I was in bed clutching for my dear life the whole night lol.
Then found out that from the results, appeared that my left tube is completely blocked, and right is swollen. I haven't been conceiving cos my eggs never had a chance to even meet the sperms 💔
Sad love story.
So this is what a normal HSG will look like, where the tubes are apparent. Mine, as you can tell, are totally not visible.
Story took a sadder turn after. My doc said my right one looks swollen eventhough can see the dye, and most probably is infected and needs to be removed.
Cause of infection could be anything, but once it's swollen it's pretty much unsalvageable. He confirmed the swelling with ultrasound too.
That really hit me hard, cos if I need to remove this tube, and my other one is blocked, it means I have no means of conceiving naturally after this. And removal of tube is so permanent, so that really really scared me 😩
the only option is IVF if this is the case, and we were also told the costs and procedures involved. Those who did ivf will know it's neither cheap, nor easy (20-25k), plus no guarantee of success.
I went to see a gynae to get a second opinion too and he agreed that I should
Proceed with a laparoscopy surgery as suggested to check on the real conditions of my tubes. Best case is we could unblock the blocked tube, worst case is can't and still need to remove the other one 😔
So yeah, I proceeded with it to get closure once and for all. If the left one is infected, leaving it there will do more harm than good and can also affect my chance of successful IVF.
Fast forward, dr found out during surgery that it's not my tube that is swollen, but that there's a big cyst around my ovary. He removed it and checked that my tube is open (although it's not completely functioning cos it's folded messily and he didn't wanna damage it by stretching it).
I guess that's a better outcome than I expected cos at least there's a small tiny sliver of hope there. My left one remains unblockable sadly.
So yeah that's the story of how I found out I'm kinda infertile 😳
Infertile sounds so ... I dunno, weird and scary and final. I guess factually I'm struggling with my fertility because of my PCOS and tubes but there's still a chance that it would work now that my right tube is somewhat open..
I'm seeing my Dr again for follow up in my next cycle, and we'll figure out our next steps..
Some info you guys have asked for:
I saw Dr Agilan in KL fertility center cos they offered the package (Rm799 but once you add other stuff it's like RM1.3k).
There are quite a few places that offered that too, like Fertility Associates in PJ, Sunfert in Bangsar South, fertility centers in hospitals like Sunway and Pantai.
We chose ours eventhough it's more expensive cos it's a convenient location for us which matters a lot when you can only see the doc during working hours. Seriously this is the most stressful part. Not only you have to pay so much, an appointment basically takes half a day with waiting etc and u have to go quite often.
And I haven't updated this on dayre but I also have a very high commitment and highly uncertain job now after I accepted the role to work directly with our new education minister. This is a culmination of all my work in education and came as the best opportunity to serve in this new government..so as stressful as it is, I gotta do it.
Yeah so combined with my story above, it just isn't a good place for me now. On one hand I couldn't have possibly taken on this job if I was pregnant,
But on the other, the stress is also probably not helpful for my reproductive health. Due to a lot of very complicated reasons, I also haven't been paid yet since June and don't know for sure when or IF I'll get backdated pay. I'll get into it next time perhaps.
But........well life's never meant to be easy all the way. The challenges make it all the more meaningful, whether for my own growth, my relationship with my husband and ultimately for my country so it is what it is.
OK now you're all caught up with my life since March! Haha. Oh! And I celebrated my 30th birthday too a couple weeks ago.
The end 🎉
Saturday, 13 Oct 2018
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