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ups and downs of being mentally ill

June 2019

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8th June - 80.7kg // 177.9lbs// i’m finally under 180lbs... my lowest weight last year was 155lbs, dear ed what are you trying to do to me...

March 2019

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hai I’m alive...February was a month filled with fake smiles and heartaches. I was crying almost everyday, getting triggered by tiny little things. I continued binging and hit my heaviest weight within the past two years,86kg. Holy shit, just a year ago I was at 71kg what happened here. School is tough and my eating disorder brain isn’t helping at all, I have a mind of an anorexic but a body of a failure.. I am obsessed with my weight, literally obsessed, doing calculations every hour..

January 2019

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well haro last night’s long walk at the park seems to have paid off, my legs are aching a little when I take double steps up the stairs today. // binged and purged for lunch - one mouthful of beehoon - two steamed veg dumplings - one can of Coke - bowl of sesame dressing salad (knew that I was gonna purge out my meal so I ate extra two packets of instant noodles)

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16th Jan : 83.5kg // had one meal with my friend, that one meal was Macdonalds...🔪

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14th Jan weigh in : 84.8kg

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water retention bloop

Good afternoon!! I feel so rejuvenated from this morning’s quick workout from a few youtubers. Went for my first run last night and man I’m really out of shape sobz it’s ok at least I finally went for a jog after months!! At least I tried!!

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