This post has been sitting as a draft for a few days. It was intended for a certain Miss Yan in regards to the blog entry of her response towards the GC exposé.
Once again, she brought up her demised friendship and used it played victim. I've been wanting to say these for the longest time. But I've always felt it's between them and it might put @xiaxue in a difficult position if things were to take a bad turn. So I just kept my support to my best friend offline.
But it all changed when the whatsapp chat of the GC people got leaked. Inside it was a part which involved a very private past affair of mine (albeit inaccurate), something which I would do anything to have it erased from my life. Sadly, it was being twisted and used by Kaykay to put CYY in a bad light.
To be honest, I was so upset when I saw it that couldn't even bring myself to talk to CYY. I'm a very proud person and she knows it. I was shocked that she went to tell someone else about it.
I calmed down later and read YY's explanation to why she told Kaykay. We are ok now.
I wasn't upset that she shared with someone about my embarrassing episode. I was upset at WHO she chose to share it with.
But it will be unfair to fault her for that. She regarded her as a friend then, a very close one in fact. And she thought that that friend would understand the importance of it that it is not just another piece of gossip to blabber about.
Anyway, here's the letter.
I was going to email her. But looking at her IG activity, she seemed rather unashamed. Don't think she will bother about my letter anyway. So I've decided to post it here in an attempt to clear my best friend's and husband's name.
Pardon the tone. I was mad. Still am.
I don't lose my temper easily, but it doesn't mean I don't have one.
So you were furious, hurt and hateful, therefore you were bitchy. Are those going to be your excuses for your malicious lies too? Because I'm not sure they will hold up quite as well.
Was dishing out on her so satisfying or do you love the attention you are getting because you once knew her personally so much, that you had to spin off this little secret she CONFIDED in you so that you'll score more brownie points with the people hating on her in that chatgroup?
"Trust me she is NOT sorry. When her best friend was cheated on, she used it as a point of gossip to me," You said.
Did you choose to say this "privately" because you didn't want to hurt anyone or because no one will be able to call you out as a LIAR?
Nice try Kaykay, in trying to put her in this unfavorable light. They can all believe you but I, aka the best friend , will never ever believe she did that.
You know why? Because ZC didn't, and would never cheat on me.
We had problems and she probably told you it involved a girl. Maybe that's why you thought it was cheating. I dunno what kinda relationships you have been into (Wait, maybe I do), but not all r/s problems involving another girl meant cheating. She knew that. So she couldn't have told you I was being cheated on.
ZC has to be one of the most upright and kind person I know. Ask anybody who knows him and I'm sure they will vouch for his character. He has decided that teaching is his calling and is devoting the rest of his life educating and caring for our next generation. Everyday he tries to be the best teacher he can be to his students, in knowledge, in character and in life.
That very night when I text you to ask if you needed me to get you, he was with me. Who do you think is going up against your violent ex if a fight were to break out? ZC didn't even know you then.
Yan Kaykay, what has a nice person like him done to you to have his character tainted when you spew your mouth insinuating that he has flawed moral values in a 'private' chat made up of 58 other people who you obviously didn't know very well??
Did it ever occur to you that someone in that chat could be a family or friend to one of his students?
My relationship was on the rocks alright and I had to leave SG in the midst of it. For 2 months I was alone in Cambodia working when I wanted so much to be back here fighting for it. I was miserable. I started work at 7am. She's not a morning person, but almost everyday she was online in the mornings to accompany me while I work.
Some days I got so upset I called her in the middle of the night crying. I was angry, I was tired, I was hurt but I had to fight. She had never seen me like that and she was worried sick. She even contacted ZC privately to try to help.
I know her and I know what we have between us. There is NO WAY she would have used it as a gossip point.
Kaykay, you were her friend. She told me she was so affected and concerned and helpless about how else she could helped me, so she confided in you.
I believe her.
She TRUSTED you. And you spun a LIE out of it and used this against her. You made her sound like she ditches her friends for a moment of glee when what she did was confide in a friend whom she thought could be trusted.
You can argue definition of cheating, but no way this is a gossip to her.
You lied and you call this merely bitching?
I don't know what she did to have the site owner removed the part of the chat before it went viral but for sure it was to protect me and ZC. She is very protective of her friends and family like that so through the years I've told myself to try to steer clear of her online affairs hoping that this will allow no one to have the opportunity to use me to affect her. Never liked conflicts anyway. But now, I guess there's no point keeping quiet anymore.
Sorry, but you no longer have this as a leverage against her. I don't care if it was 1 or 59 in that chat, you insulted my husband's integrity and you maligned my best friend and you involved Dash.
Now it's my turn.
When you got sponsored at Dollhouse Pets, got a LIVE pet and other product/services, you didn't mention you were sponsored.
When you got Slimcouture, you posted photos which you edited away the cupping marks.
These are the things that got her riled up. If it was anyone else in her radar who did the same thing, she would have called the person(s) out too. It wasn't personal.
It is 对事不对人. It was then, and it still is now. You were picked because you were the only youtuber, you were, one of the oldest and high-profiled ones, and most importantly, you were one of those with stats that looked like they are worth checking out.
I have the same question too, you know? WHY is it always you?
Why is it not anybody else who gets caught in these questionable situations? Even with this chat leaked, why is it that it's you who is getting the brunt of it but not the other people who were also singled out in the exposé? Was it because you were the one who spoke the most or was it because you were the one caught saying the more horrible stuff compared to the rest?
Of all the times you got called out for what you did, you lashed on her on being personal. And yet time to time again you played victim and used your past friendship with her to gain sympathy. You called her a bully. Who is the one being personal, exactly?
You said she was unhappy about you starting your blog because blogging is 'HER' industry. This makes her sound like some jealous territorial bitch, but is she?
For the past decade, I've seen her made many blogger friends and she is nothing but generous. With her status in the industry, she often receive the best dibs first and she doesn't keep it to herself. She shares nice products/services with them, introduce nice clients to nice bloggers and vice versa. Sometimes when she receives advertising/endorsement queries and find herself not suitable, she refers the clients to other bloggers who she thinks is a better fit for them.
Pardon me for pointing this out flatly. Some of these bloggers are more popular than you are. If she is so wary about competition, why didn't she shut them out too and also try to 'destroy' them? Look at Qiu, her blog stats are almost overtaking Yanyan but she still hooked Qiu up with her baby & pregnancy sponsors. If she is such a jealous person you made her out to be, would she do that? Shouldn't she be paranoid that she's going to lose all the products for her own son?
I often wonder, was there ever a point in time when you were relishing about how well you think you were doing in the industry, did it ever occur to you that you probably wouldn't be where you are now if not for her?
She got your name out into online world when you appeared in her blog. She CREATED your twitter account and got her followers to follow you. She got you your reality TV break on Channel 5.
You would never had gotten CvD if she hadn't introduce you to G and where did you think your initial viewers of your current show came from? I wonder if you would still get your teatox ambassadorship if she didn't reject it. (She doesn't want to endorse slimming products.)
You had a headstart and so many opportunities in the industry when you didn't do much except for being her friend.
No Kaykay, G didn't 'spot' you from her blog. She spoke good things about you to G and encouraged her to engage you for S-factor and CvD.
I remember one time we were at a party and a popular music producer she knew was present and while they were chatting she just smoothly added in that you sing nice and asked him to consider signing you.
If she doesn't want you in the industry nor you to do good, I have no idea why she would do all these for you.
She had once told me she was never upset about you being a blogger. What upsets her is that your online persona differed so much from the real life one and it is so annoyingly pompous and competitive, she couldn't help disliking it because it was making her lose a friend who she liked very much.
I know she still mourns for the pre-blogging Kaykay at times but you really do just keep proving her right with your actions that getting out of that friendship is a right choice.
You said you wanna be good, you wanna be at peace, yet you used the personal information and secrets you gotten while you were friends to put down the person you said to have loved dearly, you chided her brother and you made fun of her baby boy and you dragged in my husband who had nothing to do with this.
When that chat got out, you said you've cleaned up your act on social media but it doesn't mean you cannot be mean in private.
So your definition of being a good person is just to appear to be a good one online?
After you two fell out, whenever someone came telling her what you had been saying about her behind her back, she says, 'It's alright, I'm guilty of bitching about her too.'
She's no angel, but she admits it. And at least she knows where to draw the line. Not to worry 'cos she's not like you, even after all these that had happened, she still wouldn't tell even me your deepest darkest secrets, they are still safe with her. She is loyal like that.
Can't say the same about you.
Edit: The issue between ZC & I happened years back. Things worked out and made us stronger and we got married. Clarifying this 'cos Aunty @yipmomo was concern.
Monday, 29 Dec 2014
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