Yesterday unknowingly the memories hit when I went pass Amoy. I saw Amoy from a distance and I could still see him. And me. And what we used to be.And how things have completely changed :(That I knew him first as a colleague before anything else. But I lose him completely. That now we can’t even be friends. The kindness, gentleness and how he looked at me with that hint of shy friendliness, I remember it so clearly. But its all gone now.The things I said & did, I can’t take it back :(
Hey you,I watched avengers end game without you today. I never thought we would. But here I am. Making memories, creating milestones without you in it. It does feel strange and bittersweet. I’m happy, grateful and appreciative of the lessons our relationship had taught me. If I can go back and change things, I wouldn’t. If not, I won’t know the things I do now. I don’t want to do life like I did one year ago. It was fucked. For the future of my kids, I want to be better.
It dawned on me yesterday how much I’ve changed. You know the question you ask yourself: “if you could have a chance to go back in time and change the past, would you? Yes or no? You would think I would choose yes. I would think I would choose yes. To be able to go back and do things differently, say the right things, have a do-over and make things right.
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