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April 2019

Wah I’m damn stressed I don’t feel like eating but I do and the thing I bought is fucking270 calories!!!!!Hello y r u so dumb brain!!!!!

Ah ffsI did the whole ‘thank you for the date thing’ last night and he didn’t reply me. Like thanks a fking ton. I hate dating. So much. Argh.

I have got another date tomorrow with the same guy. Also I feel like he gives me very mixed signals but lbr I give people very mixed signals as well (I hate dating because of accusations like that that turn out to be true!!!! ! ! !)I am quite stressed about it not gonna lie πŸ™πŸΌπŸ™πŸΌπŸ™πŸΌI have a lot of conflicting feelings about this whole dating thing but I think the important thing is to literally be chill and let nature take its course!!!

Okay sorry his exact words were “I would like to try a second date”Wtf mans.

Okay so I went on a date and I actually really like him for once (he asked all the right questions!!)But then when we were walking back he abruptly said bye and take care and just walked off with me hanging there????And I was like- oh okay cool, I Guess it’s gonna be like that then so I was just planning a short ‘thanks for the meal’ text since he paid. (I used my discount, it was not posh. At all. Okay. )But then he texted me saying he had a really nice time and that he was Super nervous?

March 2019

I have been a bit depressed because I still feel like I’m falling short of expectations I have of myself and those others have of me. So obviously because when I’m sad, not just stressed. But when I am sad, I restrict and obsess over my weight because it becomes the one thing I can control and elicit praise from. I’m so cringey LOL. But year, pounds are dropping off!!! Also fuck exercise, it truly retains water weight in a way that HORRIFIES ME.

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