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♟gremlin in the house

June 2018

Been and being unhappy for the longest time now... I don't remember the last time I actually feel happy, for things that are not... "tangible".

March 2018

This year's tripsJan-Shenzhen/BeijingFeb-Kota BharuMar-Hongkong/Wuhan/ShenzhenApr-ChiangMaiMay-London/Cambridge/CinqueTerrre/Pisa/Florence/RomeSeptember-Manila/Boracay(??) I'll squeeze in another Beijing trip and cruise trip somewhere between September to December and possibly a France trip around July to see the baby.

Maybe alcohol heightens underlying emotionsMaybe it makes things clearerAny how, my heart is physically in pain just thinking about things. Maybe I should just go to sleep.

February 2018

I saw somebody wrote about having a support systemI realizedI don'tNobody knows the extent of the stress. I am so highly strung that I don't even want to talk about it. To anyone.Everyday I think about quittingThe implications of itAnd I know I am stuckThe thought of escapeNone of it really helps

What if my happiness doesn't lie

In general I'm just in a bubble of upset, unhappiness, frustration, melancholy mixed together. Sometimes more, sometimes less.

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