Hennyyy (avatar)
updated 1 month ago

Such a challenging day for me today that I don't even know where to begin.

Firstly, he had 2 hrs of bball and I didn't, and I had to meet him for food later. How do I eat at the same time when I had no activity? I also just had breakfast, and then stayed home.

And then we went to eat really challenging stuff - dim sum. Everything had to be shared and I don't know how to gauge how much I have eaten. I ate to satiety, but I kept thinking if I have eaten too much for the zero activity I had.

But I know all this is ed talking, so I have to eat even more.

Went home, and took a kit kat to eat, watch a movie (more sitting) and slept (no movement again).

Now at the gym, and I ate a bun. So much eating! And the counter lady asked if that bun was dinner. I just felt triggered, like is it abnormal to eat before working out? Granted, my workouts are not intense at all.. Sigh.

We ordered like 8 items. And drink too.

Come to think of it, I think I did well in fighting off the stupid ed demons. My health has been improving (as seen from blood work) and no way in hell I wana sabotage that. I have worked so hard, especially in the hormones dept.

Watched this movie today.

Spoiler and triggers alert:
It's about a lady, Grace, and her job at a facility for 'problematic' kids. A girl, Jayden, came in, and Grace found herself relating to her well. They both got a background of parental abuse, self harm etc. I was semi-triggered by the themes of this movie. Abuse, the hate for parents, the self harm urge. So many thoughts and feelings just came rushing back to me.

Day 76

Sunday, 17 Mar 2019

21 9
arissaphyllicialin (avatar)

arissaphyllicialin Jiayo u can do it!!

1 month ago

henydailydiary (avatar)

henydailydiary @arissaphyllicialin Thank u babe.. it's really not easy sigh

1 month ago

hzmz_ (avatar)

hzmz_ Tmr will be a better day. U did so well today ❤️❤️

1 month ago

verena (avatar)

verena Sometimes ppl just ask the most innocent questions that set us off. What’s wrong with eating before working out? Sometimes I eat a whole bread loaf before yoga, and it’s just yoga. I just don’t want to exercise on an empty stomach even though many ppl advocate that. But it’s ok, we do us! And babe, activity or not, we still gotta eat. Sometimes I see the folks ard, like my colleagues or just other ppl in general, they don’t exercise at all or irregularly but they still eat three square meals or more!

1 month ago

Pawfashional (avatar)

Pawfashional I can NEVER stop at 8 orders for dim sum cos I love seeing the table crowded with lots of plates of happy stuffs ❤

1 month ago

henydailydiary (avatar)

henydailydiary @hzmz_ Thank u babe 🤗

@amberverena Yes it's probably such an innocent question or she was trying to create conversation only, as she is a service staff afterall.

Yes I also cannot exercise on an empty stomach! Thank u dear for this assurance. Sometimes I just need this assurance, despite knowing that everything I do is so normal. Hugsss. I hope Japan is treating you well.

@Pawfashional 8 I thought is a lot for 2 pax!

1 month ago

Pawfashional (avatar)

Pawfashional NO WAY but...yeah I eat like a dude, especially when it comes to dim sum 🙏

1 month ago

siyingx (avatar)

siyingx Hmmm. 8 plates would have been a feat for me and him too! Depends on what you order. We like the rice/noodles and fried stuff, so it gets quite heavy even with our usual 6 plates. Anyhow, you deserve all the credit in the world for conquering the meal like a champ. You inspire me everyday!

1 month ago

henydailydiary (avatar)

henydailydiary @Pawfashional I love dim sum too but pity it's such a fear now. And I used to go for dim sum BUFFETS haha!

@siyingx Oh we didn't order the fried things except carrot cake. mostly steamed things so still OK haha. Babe, YOU inspire me everyday!! Your head-on determination towards recovery, and your awesome kitchen skills!

1 month ago

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