I think the saddest and most heartbreaking thing that can wreck my entire soul and being is to tell someone that I like “It’s okay I will leave” “I am so happy for you” I have been progressing well for the past 2 months though he was in my subconsciousness a whole lot. Like everyday. Yesterday was like a reality slap from God. I never imagined us chatting again and he is seeing someone now. My heart practically shattered for the second time. And I’m back to square one.
I woke up for my daily usual middle of the night alarm at 4am, saw a text from my bosses, got up to send a file over and I suddenly felt very awake enough to think about shit and make myself feel upset lol wow!!! And decided to log in back to CMB to reactivate my account and just to see some stuffs to prove a point. And also updated my profile. I wanted to write ‘no idea why I’m here signing up for my shit from you fuckers’ lol but anw I deleted it because keeping to my promise of no apps
God, I have no idea why I’m still awake and it’s 2:46am currently on a weekday. I’m such a rebel (not). My hair is back on the dark side again. I got my hair fixed after 2 months because my black roots were out, and so was the blonde. I have begun to associate my darker hair with bad luck with guys so I’m gonna continue (keyword) to be a good girl and not touch the apps even after my birthday. Let me contemplate a lil more after my KL trip and see if I wanna sign up for more bullshit from guys
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