Amy (avatar)
updated 2 weeks ago
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Lexie definitely could not wear this onesie before a month old! My boy is growing so fast!

i didn't realise it then but i was so patient with Lexie when she was born.

I carry her for longer periods, I patiently try and burp her again and again, I keep checking diaper to see if it needs to be changed. No poo nvm. Feels a bit full, change. Shirt a bit dirty, change.

With Aidan, i have no patience left. It's like my patience quota has finished. I don't know when is ny busiest time. Night time? Or whenever Lexie is beside me whining for me to play with her, read to her,

Or else making a huge mess for me to clean up and subsequently scold her.

And this is why Lexie is crying so easily these days. In the beginning, i thought she's getting so sensitive. Well, yes. That too since she understands everything I'm saying now. But also she thinks she's losing her mommy.

When she wakes at night, she only cries for mommy, mommy, mommy. Very heart wrenching cries.

But what to do? Baby needs to be fed, burped and carried to sleep.

I need to pump, bath and cook.

Life goes on...and i just hope Lexie understands that her cries affect me way more than i let on. Even when i can't run to her immediately.

I hate this part. I don't foresee this getting easier.

Found a pic of Lexie in the same exact onesie at almost 4 months old. Hahah what a big difference! @csngen

This one is at her grandma's house now and i thought i could rest. Nope. Aidan decided to stay awake for hours sucking my boobs dry every hour.

Then not sleeping well whining every few minutes. Laid down beside him hoping to sleep and dream feed him and stupid overactive letdown made him cough and choke so bad.

Sometimes i wish i had less milk. would that be easier? Not enough give formula lo. At least no need to watch ur son suffer everytime he drinks.

Day 220

Tuesday, 8 Aug 2017

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