Xiaxue 

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I might be obsessed with my son. And myself. 💁

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Tue, 15 Apr 2014

Day 105

1400    20


Where have all the time gone? I'm leaving tomorrow at midnight for Athens so today (14th as I haven't slept yet) is the last proper day I can spent with Dash.

I intended to make him as happy as possible before I leave.

In the past when Dash was younger and I felt it wasn't that easy to bring him out (have to pump milk outside wtf if go out too long), actually bringing Dash out would be like a treat to me. I was usually confined at home with him.

Not that I didn't have loads of visitors over.

But I missed being out! I then realised that as a baby, he was great to bring out as he would generally be sleeping in the pram! I could shop or have nice food in restaurants!

I did my own stuff and he tagged along, none the wiser.

Nowadays as Dash is older, he has his own preference for activities. I realised that if I bring him along my adult activities, he isn't happy.

Like if I go shopping, he would have to sit in the pram for hours. He prefers to walk around, exploring. If I bring him to join me and mike when we go for a nice dinner, he also hates being in the high chair for too long.

Then I realised i was being selfish. I wouldn't make mike tag along with me on my girly shopping trips because it isn't enjoyable for him. Why would I do that to Dash? Just because he doesn't have a choice?

It isn't his fault that he doesn't like doing adult activities. He is a kid. Unlike me, he can't choose to go off on his own and do the things he enjoys. The only time he can do that is if I bring him.

So nowadays, I don't usually bring Dash out anymore unless that day is actually planned to center around his happiness. If it cannot be helped, like I need to bring him to the supermarket, I try to compensate for it by also adding a walk to the park after so he can run around.

Now I finally understand what my friends Ripple and @jason mean by they are constantly on the prowl for fun places to bring Miley (2 and a half). In the past I couldn't understand why they can't go to a mall or a date or whatever adultish thing they wanted to do and have Miley tag along.

Now I realised that if kiddo is bored and unhappy, nobody else is happy. You will just be stressed the whole time trying to pacify him.

Maybe some people will say kids need to be trained for patience to tolerate what adults do.

Personally, I don't feel that that is fair... If I were forced to go to a loud smoky club or attend a 5 hour talk about molecular science I don't think it will train my patience - it will just waste a precious day of my life and make me unhappy. Kids should be doing what kids do! Exploring, playing, being themselves at kid friendly places.

Conclusion: If I feel an activity won't make Dash happy, I would either do it alone or not at all.

Now it's not only a challenge to find kid friendly places to bring your children to.

The next challenge is to have other adults go with you, but these adults have to understand that your priority is to make baby happy.

That's why people with kids usually hang out with other parents. Only parents will understand.

For example, I ask a girlfriend to meet me for car seat shopping and she says ok, she needs to buy a pink skirt too... If I bring baby along and baby is for some reason petrified of the mall and keeps crying, I will need to explain to my girlfriend that I have to leave, and ditch her.

I can imagine how it will be hard for my non parent friends to understand... They will think, Why are you such a slave to your baby's whines? Can't u wait for me to buy my skirt first then leave?

Maybe they won't want to hang out with me afterwards. 😳

So anyway just want to say that I'm just so lucky in this respect. I didn't expect my non parent friends to still remain close to me after I had a baby and my priorities changed.

Not only do they tolerate Dash's very big presence, some of them actually make his happiness a priority.

Especially @mystylemysong.

We still have our girly fun times without Dash, just exactly like before.

But when we go out with him, she understands and agrees that it is his happiness that should be put first. 😭😭😭

I don't have to excuse myself from her when he is crying. She is already pacifying him.

And when he laughs and smiles, both of us get our joy from that. And what a joy that is. I'm just so lucky to have her in my life!! 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

Anyway sorry got so long winded, just felt a bit emotional wtf.

So yes, brought him to the waterpark again today since he liked it so much last time!



Omg too tired to post the pictures after my longass writing so just this one picture for now. 😐

Continue tomorrow.

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